OF COURSE We ARE afraid.

Whilst culture is filled with motivational reels and Youtube videos, quick financial fixes that promise overnight wealth, and catchy one liners like “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”, the powerful promise of fulfillment and healing seems only one viral video or entrepreneurship coaching course away.

Yet, it is in the moments of downtime; the moments of quiet; the long commute home from the once sought after “dream job” that is truly only robbing you of your dream; the deafening quiet spaces of the come down of a weekend spent trying to impress people you don’t really know and honestly, don’t like; it is here, we come to terms with the one person we cannot deceive: ourselves.

I have lived in the revolving door of these moments, most notably in my recent years. The Mahalia Project has always been about my personal healing; if I ever said any differently, then I was doing what we are all guilty of to some degree. Running. From what? Another commonality we all share. Pain. Should I choose one element that encompasses my trauma on a holistic level, and sends me fleeing each time, it is this: the past. 

I have seen beautiful things and relationships come from this work and project; yet it often fades if I enter into the space of shame and regret correlated with my past; but I have learned to balance it. Yet I built this campaign, to speak not only to myself, but to others, to you, to cease simply balancing it;  we can be without fear, by overcoming it.  So easy and cliche it sounds. It’s been spoken by great orators from massive stages; in prayer circles and church altar calls; by therapists and well meaning friends alike. The ones who truly saw deliverance understood this.  You don’t overcome fear by focusing on running away from something, but running to something; yet, to our own defeat, our world offers countless distractions to direct our running towards, none of which truly heal us.

I digress for a moment, to one of the hardest stories I ever heard in working in the anti-human trafficking field. In my earlier years, I learned that many victims of sex slavery (in this case, young girls in the Red Light Districts in Thailand) were able to move “freely”, in their attempt to find “clients” and produce income.  “Freely” was a challenging concept; in my mind, these victims were likely dead bolted in rooms, chained, and ultimately imprisoned.  A Rescue Specialist in the field explained to me a vastly different reality. 

“These girls aren’t always held in physical captivity. They stand on the street, and could, in theory, run away.”

The next words will never leave me.

“I have looked these girls in the eyes.  They are so broken, so pushed down. They have been brainwashed and drugged so heavily, they find no worth themselves or meaning in escape. Where would they go?  Who would you run to when you believe no one could ever love you?”

Their chains were fear. A past of unimaginable abuse; a future completely devastated by it.  

In later stages, even if rescued, it is this fear that stills holds victims captive, and even lures them back.  It is why one our brand slogans has become “rescue is not enough.” There is a lifelong journey of healing that must follow; a journey that, by many traditional systems of reintegration and thought processes of healing, can be massively overlooked. 

Hopefully, most reading this are not, or have never been, victims of sex trafficking. Yet a daunting number will have been, or are, victims of sexual assault, domestic violence; drug, familial, peer or sexual abuse.  It is these roads that lead to an unhealed past and the shattered confidence that exploiters look for. It is what makes so many vulnerable.  

Though, should there be those amongst us who, praise God, have experienced none of these things, one truth remains absolute.  We will encounter people who have experienced these things.  Many of us already have, likely unknowingly, as it is very possibility shrouded in the running and fleeing aforementioned.  

Yet I don’t believe running is the enemy.  As said earlier, you don’t overcome fear by running away, but by running to; and this proposal finds a delicate and challenging entanglement of the past and the future.  

What if we ran towards the pain?  Insanity, of course, yet hear me out. Not in a masochistic sense, or desire to suffer.  Rather, in a desire to understand the complexities, the meaning, and the acceptance of it. Can we change it?  No, not parts of it. We cannot change what horrible trauma a parent, or family member, romantic relationship, or exploiter may have brought against us; but we can choose to not live in it.  A future without fear is not built by running from the pain, but finally meeting it.  As I read in a quote this past week, “your trauma is not your fault, but at some point, it must become your responsibility.”  A sermon I heard from Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church resounded this point in another way.  Citing “Do not be afraid” from the Biblical text, Furtick continues on to the challenges so many raise, with a most valid point: how can I NOT be afraid?  Of course we are afraid.  There’s war, disease, poverty; the list goes on. Yet Furtick’s next elaboration is powerful: the text does not read “Do not FEEL afraid.”; but rather, “Do not BE afraid,” 

Feeling and being are two vastly different things. We cannot always choose how we feel; but we are responsible for how we exist, who we are in our being, in those emotions.  

The concept “No fear of the future” is completely illogical at best. Uncertainty, unresolved trauma, and a plethora of other horrifying elements are in full pursuit of us, and it seems all too much.  Yet, something shifts when we look into that darkness of our past, with full permission to FEEL afraid, but absolute refusal to BE afraid; to be defined it; when we refuse to be agents of fear, and rather agents of reclamation. When we do this, we become a person transformed, for ourselves and others, in our sphere we of influence. We become the future; a beacon, a testimony; a raw, war torn, yet beautifully realistic manifestation of what healing is.  We trade convenient quotes for conquering; shallow distractions for deep redefinition; false peace for an honest war; the kind of war we’ve been told to run from. I believe, with the proper community, healing structures and accountability in place, we should run right into it.  

It is from these tenants that we have begun to build this new and radical way to target and prevent exploitation; and it is most powerful, because it was not developed through a business plan or lean canvas. We didn’t receive degrees or specialized training; what we have is our story, and that one “shot heard around the world” choice to face our greatest oppressor of fear and declare this truth: 

“I did not choose to be made a victim. I will choose to not remain one.”

For Liberation,

Daniel V | Founder, The Mahalia Project

A Note From The Mahalia Project Family: We are here for you! If you are seeking community, accountability or professional healing resources, or want to be part of our work and impact, please reach out at contact@mahaliaproject.com. Additionally, if you, or someone you know, is experiencing human trafficking, please contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 888-373-7888. You may also reach directly to our team at contact@mahaliaproject.com , and we will connect you with professional and trustworthy resources and care.